Jefferson and O'Brian were on a plane headed for China intending to do some more investigative research on the Man Behind The Curtain Conspiracy.  Somehow, their plane was hi-jacked; they decided to make a get away and parachuted to the ground below.  After days of wandering in the Swiss Alps, they ended up in an isolated small mountain village.  The phone lines were down after the recent snow, so there was no way to contact the outside world.  It was clear they were stranded for a while.  After the yodeling contest was over, things got a little dull in the village....it was then that the idea hit them: Why not polish up some of their old "Jefferson and O'Brian comedy routines" and entertain the townspeople?  They were quite the hit...so much so that a a visiting marketing executive for Ricola Swiss Herb Cough Drops signed them to do a series of commercials....Ricola.....Ricola.....  They had so much fun with it that they decided to take their routine to the rest of the world.  Is the world ready for Jefferson and O'Brian?  Probably not....but that won't keep them from trying.  However it may keep me from updating my page for the next few weeks....but don't worry.... I'll be back!

Godzilla took time from his busy schedule of talk-show appearances to wish Roy Syverson, his greatest fan, a Happy Birthday.  Godzilla and Roy go way back.  In fact, Syverson served as a dialogue and special effects consultant on the early Godzilla movies.  Later, he tried his hand at directing the hyped but somehow never released "Godzilla vs. MegaRabbit".  A publicity shot is seen above.   While he wasn't asked to work on the current Godzilla movie, rumor has it that he invented the Godzilla cupholder that is currently being sold at Taco Bell.  While Godzilla tried to make a surprise stop in Tracy for a birthday party (He had always wanted to see one of Grandma's earthquake cakes), he was unable to make it this year.  He is planning to send tickets to the new Godzilla movie however.  Happy Birthday!

It's been years since "You're a Senior Now,  Charlie Brown" has appeared on the stage.  Here are some rare photos of the original cast performance with Nate King as Linus and Jeff Syverson as Charlie Brown. Rumor has it that the original cast will be taking the show to Broadway.  While it will be hard to match the incredible costumes that are evident in this

Syverson (sitting on several phone books) and Dobson discuss the future of Focus on the Family. 

James Dobson, Founder of Focus on the Family Ministries, names Pastor Jeff Syverson his successor to head up the ministry.  They are seen in the photo above discussing the details.  Syverson, a relative unknown to the Christian World, was a surprise choice for the position.  What led Dobson to make this choice?  One unnamed source said, "He was strangely moved one day as he was surfing the net and came across the Playground in Pastor Jeff's Neighborhood. He said to me, 'that's just what Focus needs: a more aggressive evangelism strategy, something like Ninja Evangelism, and a marketing department like Spiral Loops Labs.  This is the guy to take us into the next century.'"

Researchers at Spiral Loop Labs have found a sure cure for insomnia.  Spiral Loop researcher, Jon Mays, is seen here just after discovering St. Theodore's Basilica Insomnia Therapy (although he didn't realize it until awaking several hours later).  He had just put the finishing touches on "The Clapper for Windows 98" (The update version that not only turns your computer off and on with a clap, but actually saves all information before the program crashes with just 3 very quick handclaps) and was beginning to work on the new and improved formula for Spiral Loops own  "Miracle Grow for Chia" when he discovered the therapy, completely by accident. He had been unable to sleep for several weeks after tasting St. Theodore's Basilica Dew for the first time. Unable to find a cure, he plunged into his work with new vigor, hoping the activity would cause him to tire and be able to sleep.  One night while working late, he came across a cassette case filled with tapes.  He noted in passing the little sticker that said, "Warning: Do not drive while listening to these tapes: repeated listening may cause drowsiness."  He ignored the warning, intrigued by the title of the tape series: "Lectures on Leviticus by Pastor Jeff".  Within minutes, he was sound asleep.  The tapes are now being repackaged as "St. Theodore's Basilica Insomnia Therapy"  Now if we could find something to stop the snoring! 

May 27, 1998, Waconia, MN
Researchers Tim Flesner and Jeff Syverson (seen here in photo) recently announced incredible findings regarding what Doctors are calling "An apparent Miracle Drug".  According to Flesner, "The substance appears to reduce the risk and perhaps even cure most forms of cancer."  Syverson adds, "It also appears to reduce the effect of Alzheimers Disease, Heart Disease, and....well a few other things I just can't remember at the moment."  What is this miracle drug that everyone's talking about? Mountain Dew, of course.  When questioned about their research, Flesner revealed, "Jeff and I have been willing Guinea Pigs for the research for at least 20 years now.  We felt it unnecessary to do tests on animals.  Of course, we both will be continuing our tests until our research is completed....in 80 or 90 years or so.  Unless of course, our suspicion is true, and Mountain Dew also proves to be the long awaited "Fountain of Youth"...then the research could go on indefinitely."  When asked, "What led to your suspicion that Mountain Dew was the Miracle Drug that the world has been long awaiting?" Syverson replied, "It all began years ago as we were in a Bible Study together led by a certain, Mr. Windbagger). In our 6 year study on the Book of Romans in which we somehow got detoured and managed to wander in the wilderness of the Pentateuch for what seemed a lifetime, we suddenly realized that Mountain Dew was the secret to a long and healthy life.  It was clearly the perfect drink.  We read: "Each morning the manna came with the dew (Num. 11:9)."  This sudden realization led to an intensive program of research."  When asked about side effects, Flesner said, "I don't know of any real side effects....but I had a period of about 10 years when I didn't sleep a wink.  But since cutting back my dosage to no more than 6 liters a day, I've been sleeping a little more."  The Spiral Loop Perm Company has recently bought the rights to Mountain Dew and is planning to market it under the "St. Theodore's Basilica Gel" brand name.  They are tentatively calling it: "St. Theodore's Basilica Dew".  Marketing studies are in process.

Shark Attack in Ohio Mall
May 13, 1998, Cincinnati, OH 
"I was just shopping, minding my own business, when all of the sudden I was attacked from behind by a large mechanical flying shark.  He lunged toward my head and would have killed me for sure, but thankfully I had this urge to bend down to double knot my shoelaces.  It turns out that he was suspended by a string and then couldn't quite reach me" So goes the story as told by Shark survivor Jon Mays, after a near fatal encounter in an unidentified Cincinnati Mall.  The boy in the picture was unharmed but was clearly shaken by the incident: "Next time I come to the mall I'm bringing a harpoon."

Mother of the Year Named
May 10, 1998, Tracy MN
Delores Syverson was just named Mother of the year by the author of Pastor Jeff's Neighborhood (her son).  She was the only person who could meet the criteria for the award: she is loving, hardworking, gentle, kind, funny, and an all around great Mother. She even beat out the Proverbs 31 woman (she just couldn't keep up with Mom). She cooks pretty good too. The Picture also shows her incredible sense of style.  I think I found another link for the Spiral Loop Perm Page. Happy Mother's Day Mom!

Minnesota Alligator Farming
May 6, Hard Times Farms, Inc., Tracy MN
Times have been tough for Minnesota Alligator Farmer, Roy Syverson.  In an attempt to diversify his farming operation, he began raising Alligators.  It seems that the Alligators are having difficulty adjusting to the harsh Minnesota winters. When asked what he was thinking, Syverson replied: "Well, ya know, after the artichoke thing didn't pan out like I had expected, it seemed like a pretty good idea to me.  And ya know when we were packin' 'em in for the alligator wresting last winter...nobody was laughing then."  But after heavy losses this winter Syverson is thinking of changing focus again: "I've heard there's gonna be quite a market for Minnesota Armadillos."  Some people just never learn.
 

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