New Major Added: Bagpipe Performance
 

Roy Syverson, President of Hard Times School of Music and Tuba Virtuoso, announced a new major at the School: Bagpipe Performance.  Cousin Bart Foster has been recruited to teach Bagpipe lessons.  He is shown at the left with his pipes and kilt.  This will be the fourth major at the school which began with a degree in Tuba performance, but is best known for it's degrees in Spike Jones Studies and Weird Al Studies.  It is hoped that the new major will add a degree of respectability to the program.  If nothing else, it's sure to change the dress code. Roy Syverson has been at work composing a new work for Tuba, Bagpipe and Chamber Orchestra. The St. Paul Chamber Orchestra

Hard Times School of Music becomes the Hard Times School of the Creative Arts; Adds John Wayne School of Acting

Hard Times School of Creative Arts faculty stand in front of John Wayne School of Acting.

Roy Syverson, never a man to resist change, felt it was time to diversify the Hard Times Empire a little more. Hard Times Farms took farming to a new level (not necessarily a higher level) and led to the Hard Times Crisis Management Seminars. Knowing the powerful and soothing effect of a good Tuba solo, Roy then founded the Hard Times School of Music.  The school has grown, majors have been added and the world somehow seems a better place.  What more could be done? Roy thought to himself, "The only thing that soothes the soul more than music after a hard day of crisis management is a good John Wayne western, Doncha know?!"  He continued to ponder, "The western seems to have fallen upon hard times...Hard Times...Hard Times...that's it! ...The Hard Times School of Acting...no, better yet, 'The John Wayne School of Acting'".  He called up his old pal, Ronald Reagan, to run the idea past a veteran of many a western.  Ron not only encouraged the idea, but made a rare public appearance at Hard Times Farms for the grand opening of the John Wayne School of Acting where he gave the keynote address.

The school hopes to train young actors in horse riding, gunfighting, cattle rustling and bank robbing.  Saloon 101, taught by Syverson himself, will teach the fine art of poker playing, beer drinking and fist fighting.  Jail 202 will teach the actors how to free prisoners from the local jail while Stagecoach 203 offers field experience in robbing stage coaches. New faculty member, Burt Foster, will be teaching those courses, along with a class on cooking over a campfire (Beans 204). In Train Robbery 301, Faculty member George Foster will be teaching the students how to climb aboard a speeding locomotive, take control of the train, and use explosives to blow open the safe.  Bart Foster will be teaching classes in cowboy songs and dressing like a cowboy (that is if he promises to put away the bagpipes and kilt).

Roy Syverson feels that the deterioration of western culture in recent years has a direct correlation to the lack of good westerns.  He feels hopeful that by offering classes in poker playing, beer drinking, fist fighting,  and gunfighting, that young people will grow up seeing movies with good family values.  We can only hope that he's right.