Grandma Warns and then Shoots

Grandma Ethel Points and Shoots at Family Gathering

Local authorities are still sorting out the details of the recent Nordsiden/Syverson family gathering gone awry.  But sources close to the action suggest that Grandma Ethel "went postal" after eating some rancid potato salad which seemed to bring out an unusual display of violence.

Her story is quite different of course.  A few weeks back Grandma had seen an infomercial on late night TNN about the new Ronco "Cane-O-Matic"...a combination walking cane and automatic machine gun all in one.  Apparently these have proved popular among senior citizens who feel the need for just a little extra protection in the crazy days we live in.  Grandma was impressed by the idea of having a cane with a built in machine gun...and even more impressed by the price... only 15 payments of 59.95.  She called them up immediately and received the "Cane-O-Matic" just days later.

She had been going for walks everyday and then every evening she was going out to Hard Times Farms and School of Music for shooting practice where she would shoot for one hour and then take tuba lessons with Maestro Roy Syverson, Tuba Player Extraordinaire.  She was becoming quite good at both.

The day at the picnic? She tells it this way: "I was just cleaning the barrel of my Cane-o-matic when it just started shooting at people in a random fashion.  I don't know what happened...but it was just an accident."

Walnut Grove Police tell quite a different story.  Apparently, Grandma ate some rancid potato salad that put her in a very, very bad mood.  The final straw was when Roy Syverson took out his tuba and started playing jingle bells.  This evidently reminded Grandma that she hadn't practiced all week and was going to be in trouble when she came by for tuba lessons the next day...and somehow this in combination with the fact that he was playing Jingle Bells in a minor key, really got her upset.  She started yelling, "Stop that!  Stop Playing that!  Stop Now!" as she pointed her finger at Roy playing the tuba. Roy ignored her -- he was going to finish playing the song.  Finally she could take it no longer.  She picked up the "Cane-o-matic" and began to shoot randomly.

Roy and the rest of the family managed to escape with only minor injuries....but his tuba...well that's another matter...it's in critical condition at the Tracy Hospital under the fine care of Dr. Al Schmidt.
 

Late Breaking News:

Funeral Services for Tuba at Tracy Alliance

Roy Syverson's Tuba just wasn't able to pull out of it....Funeral services will be held this Wednesday 10:30 AM at the Tracy Alliance Church in Tracy, MN with Edsel Miller officiating.

Send Sympathy emails and  memorial gifts to Roy Syverson