Burt Makes Another Trip Through the Food Line

Burt Foster Creates Crisis at 40th Wedding Anniversary

Walnut Grove, MN July 7, 2000

It was the 40th Anniversary Celebration of Crisis Management Specialist Roy Syverson and his wife Delores and we just had to expect that a crisis would develop somewhere.  But the nature of the crisis and the source has everyone in Walnut Grove talking.  There is a long established family tradition whereby 10 times more food is prepared than can actually be consumed by those attending any Syverson family gathering.  But due to the repeated trips by the Foster family to the food table, this cherished tradition was put to the test. 

Investigations into the near food crisis by the Walnut Grove Police Department have concluded that Burt Foster was at the heart of a conspiracy to create a food shortage by his repeated trips to the food table.  He and the rest of the Foster family thought it might be fun to create a crisis just to see how "Crisis Management Specialist" Roy Syverson would handle it.  So they got together with some members of the Syverson family and began going through the food line again and again and again (full well knowning that a food crisis is the most severe form of crisis in the Syverson family). 

Intially it was thought that Lee Soderholm was at the heart of the plot, but after his 29th time through the line he went outside where he was busy much of the time trying to get Roy and Delores's Minivan Up on blocks and disconnecting the sparkplug wires just for old times sake. But it was Burt Foster's 42nd trip through the food line that set the record and tipped off Walnut Grove police that he might have been the mastermind behind the plot.

But little did Burt know that Ellen Thoma was in charge of the kitchen and she doesn't go by the Syverson family tradition, her rule of thumb is to have 50 times more food than can actually be consumed by those attending.  So were fine....although it was getting close there after Burt's 42nd trip.

Burt Eventually admitted to being behind the conspiracy, but wanted to make sure that everyone knew that it was actually his brothers Doug, George, Bart and Kenny that had come up with the idea in the first place at a recent family gathering at the Old Country Buffet. Later Burt said,  "In fact now that I think of it, it might have even been Mary Jane's idea."

Burt was asked what he liked best.  He replied, "Well, I'll tell ya, that Wild Turkey Surprise was sure something...but I think it was the Lemon filled Earthquake cake that I liked the best."  Grandma's cakes are always known to liven up the party.

Despite Burt's best attempts, Ellen's diligent work in the kitchen (not to mention a few extra pans of wild turkey surprise) saved the celebration from a near certain crisis and we'll never know for sure which of his crisis management methods Roy Syverson would have employed to manage the near crisis.  But we can be sure it would have included at least a trip to Midwest Supply and maybe even a quick trip to Tractor Supply Company to see if any of those bolts were still on sale.

No More Bad Hair Days For Myra

The famed Spiral Loop Perm Company, a division of Spiral Loop Labs, has announced today that Myra Hutchison will be their new spokesperson.  Her creative use of hair dye and weekly experimentation with new hair styles and colors led to the choice.

Spiral said, "We wanted someone that reflected the kind of hair care experience we want all of our customers to have when using our products.  When we saw her purple hair we just knew that this was the kind of experience our customers would appreciate."

Myra will be introducing a new line of hair care product that will complement the original Spiral Loop Perm Formula.  At the heart of the new products will be a set of flourescent hair dyes in wide variety of bold colors: Terrific Tangerine, Perfectly Purple, Ghastly Green and Bold and Beautiful Burgundy just to name a few.

For her participation with the company, Spiral Labs have promised her a lifetime supply of their hair care products so she can easily change her hair color from week to week.