pastorjeff.com

NEWS

It's a Beautiful Day in My Neighborhood...Won't You Be My Neighbor?

All The News From Pastor Jeff's Neighborhood:

July 27, 1999

NEWS FLASH:

Jessica Wins Scholarship to St. Theodore's Basilica School of Modelling

Jessica Takes Her Talents to the Wheel!

Ohio, July 26, 1999

Jessica Handshoe was recently awarded the "Vanna White Scholarship" from St. Theodore's Basilica School of Modelling. Always looking for new talent, the school first heard of Jessica about a year ago when she was spotted

jumping up and down for hours on end grabbing the attention of all who passed by during a car-wash fundraiser near the Dayton Mall. One of the people driving by and seeing her boundless energy was Dr. Theodore T. Wheezer, the Academic Dean of St. Theodore's Basilica College. "I saw this girl jumping up and down with such energy and enthusiasm...I thought immediately this could be a candidate for our new Spokesmodel program...I mean Vanna White isn't getting any younger. Somebody's got to be trained to take her place. My only question was: "Can she turn letters?" but with the new board that really isn't an issue anymore."

A full series of testing was done including a cat-scan which revealed an unusual brain pattern seen only in a few other people--all of which are blonde and have an irresistable urge to turn letters.

The final determining factor in giving the scholarship to Jessica came about when the school heard the news about a recent incident where Jessica saved the day by calling 911 to save her refrigerator from impending doom as it appeared to be self-destructing...(but was actually defrosting). They were especially impressed by the "emotion" in her voice as they listened again and again to the tape of the 911 call.

One of the unique benefits of the scholarship program at St. Theodore's is the internship at Wheel of Fortune. Jessica will be filling in for Vanna White from time to time. Jessica jumped up and down clapping when she got the news: "I can't wait to turn letters... I always wanted to do that...hee hee hee!!!!"

Other News:

Hard Times Farms, Tracy, MN
Deb Vickerman , Reporter

There will be memorial services for Ed the pig this week. Seems the heat was a little too much for him. He needed a Pooh Sprinkler, a swimming pool and lots and lots of ice cubes. Ed, we'll miss you, kind of.

What I did on my Summer Vacation:

Nick from Nick's Tower has an interesting story that you really need to check out!
Could it be true?