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Carmen's Christian Haiku Page
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"There should be more Christian pages dedicated to Haiku" 
-- Carmen Roe --
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Always looking for opportunities to meet a need, Pastor Jeff's Neighborhood introduces: 

Carmen's Christian Haiku Page.

Here are the first entries:

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There should be a page
completely dedicated
to Christian Haiku

-- Carmen Roe --

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Fried Chicken is nice
They serve it at church dinners
also green jello

-- Pastor Jeff --

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My Sister sent in this week's winning Haiku:

Red top containers
Will bring you many troubles.
Clean your deck each day.

You win a free Container of Seasoning Salt and an official Village East eviction letter.
Howard Last Time my Mom was the winner (How can you not pick Mom?)  She sent in this very true Haiku:

Pastor Jeff has fun
on his computer web page
making fun of Dad

Congratulations Mom! You are the Winner!
You win a free ticket to the next  Hard Time's Farms Crisis Mangement Seminar (seminars held daily).

Last's Week's Haiku of Inspiration:

The following Thematic Haiku Series was sent to us by "Howard":

The snow is melting
The sun's beginning to shine
But it's still dang cold.

Libraries are sad
Urging one to fall asleep
Making me do so

Lyle Lovett playing
Crooning as he only can
Urging me to leave

Want to put on shorts
And a few layers of mud
And escape to warmth

But I sit here now
Content only in thinking
Of when I will go

Howard Wins this weeks coveted "Haiku of the Week" award.  This week's award: Pastor Jeff's "Get out of the Library Free, Do Not Pass Go, Do not Collect $200" Card


 Howard
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Enjoy these entries from past weeks:

Carmen Roe, Gives us this inspiring Haiku:

when songbirds flutter
better hope they don't sputter
head straight for cover

(note the rhyme scheme, taking Haiku to a new low... I mean... new level)

Myra, the Air-guitar Diva sends us this Haiku:

Chinese Food taste great 
That's not chicken in ChowMein ?
OH, no! where's my CAT??????
 

The Winner:

As Always its difficult to choose, but I have to give the nod to the singing/air-guitar-playing Diva, Myra.  Congratulations, you can pick up your your gift certificate to the China Buffet the next time you're in the area.

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From A Long, Long Time Ago....In a galaxy far, far away....
 

From last week's winner, Myra, the Singing Diva:

IS IT A BIRDIE
 OR IS THAT A PLANE FLYING
 ***SPLAT***IT WAS A BIRD

From The O'Brian, these fine contributions:

Folding Metal Chairs 
That pinch your butt when you sit 
Back to Sunday School 

Take out your Hymn books 
And throw them at the Pastor 
Church in the Dew age 

Singers are off key 
Make up for it with volume 
My hair stands on end 

What, try something new? 
We've always done it this way 
Ride your horse to church 

And Then two very fine entries by The Scott Sanders.

God's blessings are lost,
amidst a chorus of doubt,
Get real and bust out"

Deaf to heartfelt praise,
Focusing only on self,
Shames a loyal friend

And the winner of the coveted Haiku of the Week award is:

(Drum Roll Please) well, I really liked the Ride your horse to church one by The O'Brian, but some might call it a conflict of interest to choose him... and I did enjoy the Singing Diva's entry as well... but I think it's time we go with someone new... so Scott, you are the winner of the coveted Haiku of the Week award.  Myra has a spare box of tissues that she will be sending you soon.  Please talk to her with any questions.

 
Myra
An even earlier Contest:

Myra from the group Sackcloth 2 Joy displays her incredible poetic gift as she submits this soon to be classic Haiku (and I quote):

DON'T KISS YOUR HONEY
   WHEN YOUR NOSE IS STILL RUNNY
    CAUSE IT'S SNOT FUNNY

Since it's the only submission this week, it gets the coveted "Haiku of the Week Award"


 Myra
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From Alan Camerer: (winner of The Very First  Haiku of the week award)

Comfortable Pew.
Pointy elbows nudge in vain.
I awake alone.

Also from Alan:

Christ arose today!
He triumphed over the grave!
Sing Hallelujah!

Alan, you will be receiving a certificate for a month of free Hai-Yah lessons at the gym.  The certificate is in the mail... yeah right....


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Pastor Jeff laments the death of his car...

my car was dying
dead by the side of the road
then the call for help

and then laments the crash of Carmen's computer:

Computer crashes
Bill Gates has done it again.
then the reformat

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Carmen Roe then responds with these contributions:

dead car on the road
try all the numbers you can
as coffins are set

small wonder we yearn 
for the days of yesteryear
with no cares at all

yet nothing will change
when the time comes to replace
cheap transportation

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Please send your entries to Carmen Roe or Pastor Jeff. For a discussion of the existential implications of the Spiral Loop Perm page contact O'Brian.

Remember the haiku format 17 syllables in 3 lines:

5 syllables
7 syllables
5 syllables

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Achoo Now a word from our Sponsor:

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A step beyond 'Haiku' - New 'HaiYah' integrates the simplicity of haiku, the mental intensity of karate, and the energy of an aerobic workout. Developed by a high school gym teacher that writes poetry in his spare time, this new phenomenon is sweeping the nation.  The poetry follows the form of haiku, extended sequentially to include up to 14 haiku per wanshi (similar to a stanza) While reading (or chanting rather) the poetry the following motions are observed with mechanical precision:  on every other odd syllable the individual squats and turns full circle, on the off cycle odd syllables the individual leaps into the air in the 'flying splits'.  On even syllables the individual  punches the air, him or herself, and the surrounding audience at random.  The entire experience provides one of the best workouts and cathartic poetic experiences available on the market today .  Reach new levels of enlightnment and lose weight at the same time.

Testimonial:
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-- John Goodman  --

Order before midnight tonight:
Carmen Roe Enterprises

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 Achoo