Jefferson and O'Brian Hit the Summer Parade Circuit and Are Courted By Ross Perot

Recently Jefferson and O'Brian have been busy riding around the midwest in "OId Greenie", the official Campaign Parade Vehicle.  They are seen here preparing to join the parade at Walnut Grove, MN.  After the parade, they were surprised by a visit from Ross Perot, who had been riding on a Vaculator with a slogan that said, "Do ya hear that great sucking sound?"  He approached them about the possibility of becoming part of the reform party and perhaps becoming the Presidential Candidates for the coming election under the reform party banner.  Jefferson and O'Brian are considering the offer, but feel that unless the party would adopt the values of the Dew Party they don't feel they could seriously consider it.  Stay tuned.  In other news, the Exploratory Committee which has been lost for a long time now was finally seen exploring in the Walnut Grove area.  We can only hope that they find something soon.
 

Former President George Bush has caused quite a stir in his family by endorsing Jefferson and O'Brian instead of his own son.  He is seen here shaking hands with O'Brian (at a campaign fundraiser).  Bush is quoted as saying, "Time for a change....change....good.... same old thing ...bad.... Jefferson and O'Brian for President....very good".  Jefferson and O'Brian are ecstatic about the endorsement which should bring some credibility to their incredible campaign!
 

Old News:

The First Scandal of the Campaign Revealed.

Ap Wire: News flash

In an interview held today at the Red Rooster cafe in Tracy, MN O'Brian of the Jefferson & O'Brian Presidential campaign team revealed startling news. It seems that O'Brian has a history of gambling problems. "Yes, it is true." Says O'Brian, "At one time in my past, I lost the entire O'Brian family fortune playing Windows Solitaire." It seems O'Brian had been playing the game for some time, not realizing that he had set the options to Vegas Rules. "I was just playing hand after hand, not knowing
that in Vegas Rules, one is betting $52.00 for each hand dealt. The fact that I am not that good of a Solitaire player became evident when one day I received an E-mail from Microsoft, stating that I had played 2,846 consecutive losing hands of Vegas Rules Solitaire for a total gambling loss of $148,092.00." It seems that Microsoft had placed a cookie in all releases of Windows 95 that reported the winnings/losses of all gambling related windows games each time the consumer logs on to the internet, and was now e-mailing O'Brian requesting information as to how he intends to pay his debts to Microsoft. "Shucks. It sure was a surprise to me," states O'Brian, "I thought all this was intended in good fun. Now I see how 'ol Bill has been making his fortune." Lawyers from the
John Whithead foundation have been retained and are pursuing the case in defense of O'Brian. The future of the campaign remains clear. O'Brian has stated firmly and definitely that he will not step down from the ticket. "I'm in this thing until the end, or at least as long as Jefferson is." O'Brian was quoted, as he was whisked away from the press conference at the Red Rooster on the Presidential campaign vehicle, a John Deere 70 tractor pulling a hayrack float. Further statements made by St. Theodore Wheezer, Jefferson & O'Brians campaign manager revealed that O'Brian hopes to turn this around into a "Just Say No" program for kids dealing with the influences of gambling.

Jefferson and O'Brian Action Figures
  Since they've tossed their hats into the ring, it seemed like the time to market the new Jefferson and O'Brian action figures.  In some markets, these are outselling the new Star Wars action figures.  Get yours today and support our campaign!!!!

Jefferson and O'Brian have grown impatient with their Exploratory Committee -- they seem to be lost again-- and decided to bring in St. Theodore Wheezer III to serve as the Chief Campaign Advisor for the 2000 Campaign.  They are seen in the above picture just prior to their dancing the "Mexican Hat Dance" around the proverbial ring that everyone throws their hat into....

After doing the hat dance, they discussed the possibility of throwing their hats into the ring.  Jefferson was anxious to throw his hat into the ring... but O'Brian was someone reluctant.  He explained, "I'm rather partial to this hat...it's a fine hat that's been passed down in my family throughout the generations.  I really hate to throw it in the ring."  Wheezer was asked for his opinion....and all he would say was "Ring around the collar...Ring around the collar."  This of course was a customary signal for another round of the Mexican Hat dance... and soon the three grabbed their instruments... and began to dance again.  Soon Roy Syverson showed up with his tuba and began to play "jingle bells" in a different key while he joined the dance.

After several more incidents of like nature, Jefferson and O'Brian sang their famed renedition of Pal-Yat-Chee accompanied by Wheezer on the guitar... by this time the crowd had forcibly removed both Roy Syverson and his tuba and so he was not able to join in.

After some discussion due to O'Brian's reluctance to throw his hat in the ring, Jefferson bought Wheezer's pilgrim hat and gave it to O'Brian so that he could throw a hat into the ring and still save the family hat.  Finally, Jefferson and O'Brian threw their hats into the ring and the crowd joined them in a heart felt rendition of "You've got to run, run, run..." accompanied by Enoch Fakudze on the Accordian.....

So, ladies and gentlemen, it appears that it's official the hats have been thrown into the ring.....let's dance....

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