Wahoo, Nebraska, March 14, 1999

The media was stunned today by the announcment that Jefferson and O'Brian were going to form an Exploratory Committee regarding a run for the presidency in 2000.  The two long term friends announced their intentions today to a small crowd in Wahoo, Nebraska.  If they do indeed run, they are expected to form a new party...The Dew Party... O'Brian explains, "Well, there is already a full slate of Republican Candidates....and the Democratic race looks entirely too boring...besides could you imagine me as a Democrat?...and with the recent success of Jesse Ventura...we felt that an independent party was the way to go.  We decided to call it the "Dew Party" with fond memories of the "Dew Parties" of our youth."  Jefferson continued:  "Our first major endorsement came from the Pepsi Corporation... who plan a series of Dew commercials...featuring the candidates in an ad campaign that to the naked eye appears to be promoting Mountain Dew,  but there will be a subliminal message flashing across the screen imperceptible to the eye...but influential nonetheless...saying 'Vote for Jefferson and O'Brian...and drink Mountain Dew'."  Since, they don't appear to be political ads, they don't expect to have to worry about exceeding their campaign advertising limits.

Already, campaign buttons and T-shirts have been seen with the Jefferson and O'Brian for President 2000 campaign promise:  "A 6 pack of Dew in every refrigerator...and a pizza in every freezer"

In related news, Jefferson and O'Brian shaved their heads and went into training today and are planning to join the Professional Wrestling circuit...as tag team wrestlers.  It is unclear at this point how this development relates to the formation of the exploratory committee for campaign 2000.....but we're sure there must be a connection there some place. 

April 1, 1999

The exploratory committee of the Jefferson and O'Brian Campaign got started with their research last week.  Unsure of what an exploratory committee is supposed to do, they tried to do exploratory surgery on Jefferson and O'Brian.  Because strong objections were being raised by the candidates, they abandoned those plans and began to explore the United States.  They were doing fine at the exploration until they got on board a boat...and while they appear to be lost at sea, a message in a bottle has floated to shore with a message fromt he committee:

Treasurer Thurston Howell, III, began the story: "We got on board a tiny ship called the Minnow for a three hour cruise....a three hour cruise. I brought along all our campaign resources. We put Skipper in charge and made Gilligan the first mate."  Skipper went on to explain: "Suddenly the weather started getting rough...the tiny ship was tossed." The Professor continued: "If not for the courage of the fearless crew.... the minnow would be lost...the minnow would be lost" Mary Ann, also aboard the ship, explained: "The ships aground on the shore of this uncharted desert Isle...with Gilligan, the skipper too....the Millionaire and his wife...the Movie Star, the professor and Mary Ann (that's me)...here on Gilligans Isle....

It is hoped that the exploratory committee will soon be found...so Jefferson and OBrian can decide whether to run for the presidency under the Dew Party banner in the year 2000.

Pastor Brian has taken charge of the Illinois office of the Dew Party...which means we have only 49 states to go.  Sign up today!

Exploratory Committee Lost and Found

After being lost at sea and flung upon a deserted desert Isle, the Jefferson and O'Brian Exploratory Committee was recently found by King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table on their search for the Holy Grail.  King Arthur had been lost at sea for some time now and was ecstatic to see some new faces.  After some discussion, King Arthur and his Knights decided to join the exploratory committee in their attempts to figure out what an exploratory committee is supposed to do.  He had to admit that after years of fruitless searching for the grail, he was looking for a new quest.

The reaction of the existing committee to the new members is mixed at best...as you can see by closely perusing the photo above.  None took the news harder than Danny Nordsiden, who had been leading the exploratory committee.  He found it difficult to accept the loss of power and prestige and has been crying for days.

The Newly formed exploratory committee then set sail on King Arthur's boat....they decided to go to Camelot.... but took a wrong turn....and ended up in the Camel Lot at the Rosedale Mall in the Twin Cities. 

In the mean time, Jefferson and O'Brian were getting anxious....Jefferson explains, "We needed to make our decision whether to run for the Presidency in 2000 or not....and we can't even find our exploratory committee."  Never at a loss, O'Brian suggested that they contact Nick Stebner and his crew who had been exploring Chilly World (to find out more, click here).

As they still hadn't been able to find any intelligent life on Chilly World, Nick was happy to lend a hand to go searching for the Exploratory Committee.  He called up Priceline.com to see what kind of deal he could get on a new spaceship to get from Chilly World back to Earth (his first ship had been destroyed by a stamped of Godzilla monsters).  He got William Shatner on the line...and was able to negotiate a good price on the StarShip Enterprise... Shatner was eager to help out the campaign....he said, "I Knew it, this is gonna be big....really big....Jefferson and O'Brian for President....I'm on board..."  So with Shatner in tow, Nick and the crew set off to find the exploratory committee.

Will Nick and the Exploratory Committee for the Exploratory Committee for the Dew Party Presidential Campaign 2000 of Jefferson and O'Brian (Nick and the ECFTECFTDPPCTOJAO) be able to find the exploratory committee?

Will the exploratory committee be able to find out what an exploratory committee is supposed to do?

Can King Arthur really be trusted....could all of this be an attempt to hijack the nomination from Jefferson and O'Brian so that he might himself become a candidate and then upon election declare the United States to be under the rule of the King of England?

Where is the Man Behind the Curtain in all of this? 

Well stay tuned for more news.....and maybe we'll find out.

Pastor Jeff's Neighborhood