| This
Just In:
Sackcloth 2 Joy to Play at Campaign
Rallies for Jefferson and O'Brian
April 11, 2000
Nick Prepares for First Press
Conference
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Campaign Advisor and Press
Secretary Nick is beginning to feel the pressure of the campaign.
Trying to explain the political philosophy of the Dew Party to the press
is a tough job! Nonetheless Nick presses on taking the philosophy
of dewism to the masses... or at least to anyone who will listen.
He has learned the absolute necessity to
be prepared for each and every press conference (see picture at the left). |
Dayton, OH Feb. 11, 2000
Campaign advisors adjust to new dress
code |
Chief Campaign
Advisors Named |
| Jefferson and O'Brian decided to beef
up their campaign for the Presidency and added three advisors to help with
the campaign. Nick, Jon and Chris are known not only for their websites
(Nick's Tower, Itchy
Melvin's Playhouse, Chilly
World), but especially for their modeling careers. The whole world
is still talking about their "Sum
of all Fears" Calendar. Taking time off from their modeling careers
will be hard for the three...but not as difficult as having to adjust to
the new dress code (a tie is required).
Nick (holding Pooh), will serve as press
secretary (chief spin master) and will handle the day to day press duties.
Jon (middle) will handle campaign strategy and fundraising. Chris (the
other dude) will serve as head speech writer for Jefferson and O'Brian.
In addition all three will be involved in the day to day strategy sessions.
Their first strategy: Organizing a local
chapter of the Jedi Knights to incite rioting and revolt in Zimbabwe.
As the government topples, Jefferson and O'Brian take over the government
and declare themselves co-dictators. Having the government treasury
at their disposal they will be able to better fund the campaign.
Chilly adds, "Besides which of the other candidates could say, 'I'm the
experienced candidate, I've already been a dictator'". Nick added,
"Yeah, and if this presidency thing doesn't pan out, at least you can rule
Zimbabwe while you wait for the next election."
Also being considered is a proposal for
a 12 month calendar with pictures of the candidates. Let's just hope it
isn't a swimsuit calendar. Now that would be a Scary thought,
wouldn't it ?
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Other News:
North Pole, Dec. 25, 1999
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Santa Endorses Jefferson
and O'Brian for 2000 Presidential Race
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| North
Pole, Dec. 25, 1999
Santa Claus ended a life
long tradition of staying uninvolved in politics, when he announced today
that he was endorsing Jefferson and O'Brian for the 2000 Presidential Race.
His comments were:
"What this world really
needs right now is a lot more joy and they might not know a thing about
politics, but they do know how to have fun. Besides I've been a closet
"Dew Drinker" for a long time now, especially around Christmas eve...gotta
stay awake you know... and their platform to bring a six pack of dew to
every citizen is very appealing to me.. I might even be willing to help
deliver it. |
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Jefferson and O'Brian Choose
Hayride over Straw Poll
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Jefferson and O'Brian Choose Hayride
over Straw Poll
Iowa, August 16, 1999
With all the talk of straw
polls, Jefferson and O'Brian thought it was time to do a little Iowa campaigning
their own way-- with a hayride. "Personally we prefer hay to straw
anyday...as long as we don't have to bale it," said Jefferson. "And what's
a straw poll anyway? Why would you want one? We'd rather go
on a hayride." added O'Brian. So they took the campaign vehicle 'Old
Greenie' for a ride to Iowa and participated in the first Presidential
Campaign Iowa Hayride.
Jefferson and O'Brian Use
Hayride to Gain Votes
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